Plaintiff's Lawyers Fight Uphill Battles--the Only Way to Fight

As a lawyer, my two greatest pleasures are: 1) Fighting hard for my clients. They are real people who inspire me. 2) Fighting back for my clients against other people, insurance companies, former employers, the government, and whoever else goes after them. My clients deserve someone who will fight hard for them, which is what I try to do.

If I am guilty of one thing as a lawyer (and as a person), it is that I do not tolerate jerks (Normally, I'd say assholes, but this is LinkedIn, which requires more decorum). Anyone who knows me will tell you that I am usually kind, courteous, and polite. I learned to have good manners and be respectful to people. I am. When others are nice. Even when they are not nice, I am sill nice. Usually.

However, when people are mean just to be mean. Lawyers, business people, politicians, or anyone else. Then, I hit back. And I hit hard. 

And I have a long memory. This means I am constantly in search of rectifying what I think is wrong. 

It isn't easy. But it is worth it.

Standing up for others and for yourself requires risk. But most things do. Most things worth doing expose us to risk. 

Plaintiff's lawyers must not be afraid to offend people or upset them. We are at a disadvantage. We are fighting against corporations with limitless funds, who do not see our clients as real people. They dehumanize and disparage our clients when they choose to fight back. And they have lobbied for decades to poison the well against winning in court. 

It's called "tort reform," and it worked. Unfortunately. Why has it worked? Money. Lobbyists. Pitting real people against each other and laughing at them. Laughing to the bank.

Wolves in sheep's clothing. Insurance companies and other corporations have all the money. They are the bullies because they can be. And they want to keep their money. They certainly don't want our clients to have it. Especially when our clients deserve it.

What is the best way to describe corporate America when it comes to how they treat our clients--the real people in America? It's pretty simple. JERKS.

Like I said, I don't like jerks. I'm mean back to jerks. That's who I am. I'm just glad I've found a profession that allows me to be who I am while fighting hard for my clients. 

My clients deserve the best. And I will do all I can to give it to them.

Legal Sharks: Data Breach Class Action Lawsuits Make the Lawyers (on both sides) Lots of Money and do Little for the Clients

Data breach class actions are a racket. California is the epicenter of this plaintiff's legal fee bonanza. The passage and subsequent amendment to the CCPA fueled this legal juggernaut. While the CCPA does provide greater protection for victims of data breaches, in reality it means consumer victims of data breaches really only get at most $750 while the lawyers make hundreds of thousands if not millions in fees. 

The way it works is enterprising plaintiffs' lawyers scour the internet daily searching for data breaches where consumer personally identifiable information (PII) is compromised. In the health care context, it is know as protected health information (PHI)  Note: a favorite website of lawyers is the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) where massive health care breaches are announced as required by law, often months after they occur giving the victims little chance to mitigate their damages. 

If the breach is big enough and affects a California consumer, then the law firm drafts a blog post to their website and purchases advertising. They try and reel in a plaintiff. Once they have one they information is plugged into a canned complaint, and they file the lawsuit in federal court--hoping to be the first firm to file. Almost all of these firms are in California, which is a litigation paradise for this legal cottage industry.

If you are the first law firm to file, then you get to be lead counsel, which means--if the case isn't dismissed--you will make more in fees than the other circling shark lawyers. Many of these settlements are in the millions, and law firms take between 33% and 40%. Or the case is up to those percentages, but the billable time for several hundred hours is billed out between $700 to $1000 per hour. When I handled these cases, my time was around $700 per hour. 

On one case I billed 76 hours. $53,200 in fees. You can see how lucrative it can get just on billables. If it is based on percentages, then it came be in the millions. And most of the time you don't even need to take depositions or barely even conduct depositions. It is largely complaint (the lawsuit) and brief driven. If you make it past a low level motion to dismiss, then the case will almost certainly settle for a ton of money.

God forbid these lawyers ever had to go to trial. They wouldn't know what the hell to do. 

Oh...and there are mediations that take place where the pie is carved up. And the mediator (there aren't many who do it) charges between $11,000 and $15,000 for a one-day mediation. I shit you not. This is all while the defense lawyers, who have billed as many hours if not more than the plaintiff's attorneys, are billed out at $800 or $1000 per hour. 

But, hey, the class members get maybe $750? Does this sound like justice to you? Don't tell the plaintiffs' lawyers that because they all talk about "justice," which is a total crock of shit. 

In my opinion, many of the plaintiffs' lawyers who do these cases are no better than ambulance chasers and so-called Walmart lawyers. I don't do these cases anymore, and I've had time to think about it. I regret ever doing them, quite frankly. Perhaps in time I will wash the slime off of my body from this sleazy nature of these cases. But it will take a while. 

Lawyer doodles